Very noticeable changes.
Now I know/knew that babes get cranky when there poor little gums are torn to shreds by their pushy teeth. I did not realize how much it can change me as a mama.
There was one night last week (maybe thursday or friday?) where Monroe woke up and screamed non-stop from 3 am-5 am. Eventually after lots of soothing we gave him some pain medicine and his daddy rocked him to sleep in the lazy boy. There were a few other nights that week with non-stop crying, screaming, bawling, that left both Paul & I questioning where his next tooth was, all this fuss must be over something right?
The thing is that teeth seem to be like much of the growth, physically, mentally, emotionally that we go through during our transition into parenthood. It hurts so much. Then it wanes and ceases all together, then flares up, then is a dull ache and so on and so forth. The teeth come down, shrink back up, break through, grow taller and longer.
Some days I feel like being a mother was/is my calling, my life's duty, my purpose. Truth be told some days I want to just be alone and sew or read or knit or some other activity I find relaxing (I am finding my outlets) and I feel like maybe this wasn't my calling.
A person I know was recently discussing with me how she did not feel quite right constantly at home with her children, nor was she content away working full-time. A part-time work schedule worked perfectly for her in her situation. I have yet another friend who stays home full time with her 2 little ones and she told me once that she doesn't ever want to look back and think about what she missed out on due to working, and that she'd never look back and think I shouldn't have stayed home with them. Everyone's view on motherhood and staying home vs. working is different. This leaves me a little confused as to what society think I should do. I know that this is a common issue for every mother out there, and I have no answers just typing out loud.
The thing about teeth, is you don't quite know what they'll end up looking like, will they need braces, fillings? Will they wear down with age, will they not show up until a year old +?
Teething this past week has been tough for my roe, growing as a mama has been tough this week too. I am starting to feel so "coming out the other side on a freaking rainbow" some days, and other days the sads seep in and I find myself feeling isolated and a little alone.
To me motherhood is not something that will pass quickly, that much like teething and something that will be shifted, molded and work on for years and years to come. I'll let you know how we make out :)
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